Yes, three posts in one night! I’ve been holding them in my head lately, so I might as well get it all out now.
As I mentioned earlier, I recently made a career change. I now work as a freelancer, so I go to a private work space and spend a lot of time quietly working on my computer alone. It’s great for a lot of reasons; flexibility, low stress, and actually more earning potential than my last job.
But at the same time, I find part of myself… questing for an authority figure.
Do you believe that people have energy or give off vibes? I’m not sure that I do, but you have to admit that people pick up on so much underlying meaning that’s not verbal. Now that I am my own boss, I feel like I’m a little incomplete. I feel like some inner part of me is longing for an authority figure.
As a (secretly) submissive woman, I’ve always worked best under a strong male leader. When a man who is weak, stupid, or otherwise undeserving of respect is in charge, I find that it brings out my contempt and brattiness. When a woman is in charge, I feel like it’s pretty neutral – doesn’t affect me one way or the other. But when a strong, effective, man is in charge… it gives me goosebumps! Then I strive to please him in my work. I flirt with danger by tempting myself with small disobediences and imagine how he would take me to task.
So now that I am, for the first time in my working life, in charge of myself… I feel a little lost. As a closet submissive, I really enjoy the dynamic of working under someone.
I feel like my energy/vibe right now is searching/longing for a supervisor. I find myself reacting strongly to my male clients and imagining what would happen if I displease them.
Somehow, I think my vanilla husband even felt it. We haven’t had much sex lately, due to lots of hectic life changes. But the other night, when I was feeling particularly in need of an authority figure, he somehow sensed that I was ripe. As I went for our usual goodnight kiss, he grabbed me, kissed me deeply, and forced me against the couch. Things got hot and heavy from there, and we FINALLY had sex!
So I do think that we give off energy that others can pick up on. What do you think? Guys, can you feel it with a woman is dying to be dominated?