Spanking for Vanillas 101: Lesson 2 – Asserting Dominance

Ok, so, your partner is into spanking and you, being an amazing human being, wish to fulfill their needs. So, you happily take them over your knee and blister their bottom. You even administer a good scolding, because you read this post and got the techniques down. They’re happy, you’re happy, and you consider this whole DD thing resolved until their next session. But guess what? They don’t! You may be surprised to find out that the occasional spanking is not enough to satisfy most bottoms.

If your partner has asked you for a DD lifestyle, then that’s what they most likely meant: a lifestyle. Not a “once in a blue moon”-style. They want you to start acting in a more dominant manner and keeping up with their discipline.

PLEASE NOTE: Every bottom is different. Some may want a lot of discipline, and some may want minimal oversight. It’s up to the two of you to discuss where exactly on the spectrum you both wish to be, but I feel safe in saying that most bottoms want more than the occasional isolated spanking.

If you’re new to DD, your partner is going to be looking for some regular reassurance that you’re really in on this with them. Be on the lookout for little opportunities to assert a bit of dominance with them. (And no, I don’t mean become an asshole. Keep reading.) Here are some small actions you can take to reassure them that you’re in this for good:

Don’t miss opportunities. Little misbehaviors and conflicts will naturally pop up. I can guarantee you that your bottom will be hyper tuned in to how you handle them. Did she leave the towels unfolded again? Instead of sarcastically calling out “Wow babe, thanks for folding the towels,” or shaking your head and folding them yourself, call her out on it directly! “Cindy (we’re assuming her name is Cindy), come here.” When she arrives, follow up with something along the lines of “Would you care to explain what these towels are doing here?” If she’s not at home, text her a picture of the towels with the caption “We need to talk.” (Personally that would send shivers down my spine!) If you’re fortunate enough to have privacy, consider administering quick spanking right there, bent over the towels that she didn’t fold. Don’t squander these opportunities!

Check in randomly: If your partner is not doing anything wrong, you can just randomly check up on them and how they’re doing with following the rules you both agreed to. For example: “Are you exercising enough this week?” “Are you focusing at work?” “How’s the budget going?” etc. You can text them during the day occasionally (don’t overdo it though). Something like “Are you behaving yourself?” “Are you focusing on work?”

Be protective: If your bottom is going out, especially if they’re going out in what could be a dangerous situation such as running by themselves, ask questions for their protection. Set terms for safety. “Where are you going,” or “when will you be back” are good ones. With the caveat that if they for any reason get delayed, they can text you an update with no consequences. And if they are delayed and forget to update you… consequences!

Be playful: You can assert dominance playfully! If they jab you in the side to be funny, grab them by the back of the neck and playfully threaten them. If they’re being playfully sarcastic (“Wow, I didn’t know it was possible to score that low in Guitar Hero”) be playfully sarcastic right back! “Unfortunately it is! Come get over my knee so I can improve on my tempo and handwork.”

Be positive: Dominance isn’t always negative! If they’re being good, you can point that out.

If done right, just a few actions like this a day will reassure your partner and keep them in the right mindset. And whatever you do, be sure to follow through with any promised punishments – that might be the most reassuring thing you can possibly do!

Happy Spanking 🙂

2 comments on “Spanking for Vanillas 101: Lesson 2 – Asserting Dominance

  1. Always such a pleasure to read your blog muse. The information you put so eloquently in words fit so perfectly in my heart and soul. Thank you from the bottom of my heat for coming into my life at this time!

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